Summer!!!!

Its Summer!!! Summer Time is Here!!!! In case you aren't catching on...Summer has Arrived! I have finished my last (see: only) final, and probably passed it with flying colors, though I'm not exactly all that sure what that phrase really means.

I, for one, am stoked for what is to come this summer. Nothing excites me more then leaving my friends for four months and replacing that with a job where I have to stock things, check expiration dates on children's medicine, and possibly, on bad days, clean bathrooms. I couldn't think of a better setup.

But all kidding aside, I think this summer is going to be awesome as it will allow me to return to my roots. Sure it is going to suck because all of my homies out there (shoutout, you know who your are considering theres like 5 of you) will be gone, and next year just wont be quite the same without us overtaking the Madison Apartments, but summer is never a dull experience. I plan on taking advantage of many opportunities. Let me explain.

1. First off, I am excited about reclaiming my title in Ladera Ranch as the village idiot. I am fully aware that I am the biggest idiot in the city, and I am fully aware that you know I know. Yes, that is me that runs in the short shorts in the middle of the day in broad daylight. Yes, I am aware I am wearing a wife-beater. Yes, I know there are people outside and that they can all see me. Yes, I know my arms and legs are more blinding than looking into the sun (also, the moon called me and asked for its reflectiveness back). Yes, I know the children are scared and that you adults are kind of appalled by what you are seeing. Yes, I know I shouldn't run in front of dining establishments where people are eating. Yes, that is me dancing in the streets (thank you Channing Tatum). Yes, that is me pretending like I am a BAMF and blaring rap music like I am from Compton (which I've said so much now I actually think its true). Yes, I am fully aware you all think I am an idiot. No, I don't care. No I will not stop. No. No. No. I take pride in my title as the village idiot and I plan on living up my rep to the fullest this upcoming summer. Ladera Ranch, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

2. Second thing is, I'm going to try to grow myself intellectually this summer (as evidenced by that last sentence). To do this, I plan on watching as little TV as possible. I know that this is basically like committing suicide to some people, but allow me to explain. TV has made me dumber. That should be the end of my explanation, but its not. You see, TV has never taught me anything really all that useful for real life. High School (or college) was nothing like Saved by the Bell or Boy Meets World, Global GUTS made me think all foreign countries were bad and/or unathletic, and Legends of the Hidden Temple basically made me lose all faith in humanity (seriously, the final "puzzle" had only 3 pieces and the "guards" were always in the same place. Stupid kids). Therefore, I have decided to read things that apply to real life and the real world, preferably books like Harry Potter and One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish . Now those will prepare me for the real world.

3. Numero Tres, I want to get somewhat of a tan this summer. Notice my strategic use of the word somewhat in this hypothetical scenario. In the past, I have put a lot of pressure on myself to "get a tan". Usually I thrive under pressure situations like these, but for some reason, this particular situation I have failed miserably. Therefore, I have told myself that I just want "somewhat" of a tan so as to not put as much pressure on myself, and therefore I will probably have more success in this area. For all the people that ever have to see me with my shirt off or in my short shorts, you better hope by the Grace of God that I get "somewhat" of a tan. Or you will be blind. My bad.

4. Fourth, I plan on not doing drugs this summer. I have never done drugs, but I figure this is a good rule to live by. Because I think only positive things can come from not doing drugs, I plan on not doing them.

5. Cinco, I have a job this summer at CVS. I am glad that I get to make money, because money buys things. However, I am already well aware that I will be presented with a variety of challenges on the job. I hope I do not succumb to any of these challenges, but I cannot make any promises. Basically, these challenges have to do with me dealing with customers. Some customers feel that I have an unbelievable amount of power in controlling things in the store, when I really always have to do what I'm told. If I get yelled at, I usually yell back. I'm competitive like that. I'm working on it. I'm sorry to any customers I will offend with my witty comments and comebacks this summer. But not too sorry, because you probably started it.

6. Sixth, I am taking summer school. Summer school sucks, but at least I never have to take this class again. And I will annihilate this class, eventually annihilate every other class because of this class, then probably take over the world or something. I haven't really decided yet.

7. Numero Siete, I get to write a lot this summer. I will write everything from songs to raps to screenplays to novels. I also plan on writing blogs like these and keeping a journal. Yeah, be jealous.

8. Ocho!, I plan on taking this time to get into the best shape of my life. I want to get all this stupid baby fat off me and finally be a man. Also, I want to improve my basketball game by infinity. So that I play. So that I don't have to watch. And so people don't laugh at me. Seriously, please don't laugh at me.

9. Nueve!, I get to hang out with my family. I would go more in depth on this, but I'm pretty sure I've embarassed my family enough by my looks and actions so far in my life, so I won't try to say anything that shouldn't be said. Its not worth the risk of not being fed.

10. Lastly, what you've all been waiting for, number 10. As some of you may know, my sister has a boyfriend. I plan on making this fellow believe that I have committed a felony and that I should be in a mental institution. If this fails, I at least plan on having him do a rap battle with me. I will rap battle the crap out of him and make him cry, and thus prove my superiority. And if you are reading this Matt Koskie, my good sir, just remember whatever you do with/to my sister, I do to you.

That is my two cents on my summer and I'm sure you all are glad you wasted precious minutes of your life reading this. Remember, its not my fault.

Until Next Time,

Brennan (a.k.a. brenny, killer B, "that kid that plays basketball")